Around the World in 80 Pubs
Guzzle your way across the globe – your liver will love you
by Tim Baker, Ralph Magazine, August '08
Bored of your local? Add some zing to your drinking by going on The World's Biggest Pub Crawl. For $11,900, you can spend 25 days collecting hangovers at 80 pubs in nine countries across four continents, from London and Munich to Phuket and Cancun. We spoke to some punters who went on the last trip. You'll notice we forgot to ask about their livers…
Inebriated in Europe
Sabine Kasper
Age 27, From Houston
"You can count on the tour manager to argue with the bartender and request some AC/DC, even at tiny places playing traditional local music, like Maria Alm, Austria. There were awesome bars there.
Most pubs are as big as your living room, but you get to know the locals. At one place, there's a wagon wheel attached to the ceiling that has bottles ready to pour through a dispenser. You stand underneath and skol.
The cool thing about Maria Alm is they have these places called Alm houses where people can come in off the street from their hiking trip. You just sit down and they give you shots of schnapps.
Austrians drink whenever they can, so you can go skiing and stop off at all these little Alm houses and have a round. We were out sledding and before we knew it we'd had 10 rounds. Then we sat back down on these little kamikaze sleds trying to steer around hairpin turns down the mountain.
Everywhere that you go in Austria there's always a round of schnapps or beer waiting for you."
F-ked up in Phuket
Paul Kapica
Age 36, From Perth
"It's like a footy trip with 20 mates. You have a ball and run amok at some really cool pubs in interesting countries. There's no pressure of where you have to be at a certain time. We just jumped in the car or bus or whatever and went to the next place and started drinking there.
In Phuket, you go to a wicked pub called Rock City. It's a good hard, heavy rock pub. There's nothing better than having a few beers with your mates and listening to some great rock'n'roll.
The cover bands are all Swedish. There's one group that sings some Iron Maiden, Judas Priest and all that classic heavy metal. Others sing Bon Jovi and AC/DC. And one group covers Metallica. If you put them next to the real band you couldn't tell the difference.
They've also go this hot girl walking around in a cowboy get-up and gun holsters holding bottles of black sambuca and tequila. When you buy a shot, she pulls the tequila from her hip, pours two glasses then gives you a piece of lemon and some salt on your hand. Then you go your hardest.
After a big session there one night, we were carrying each other home. Motorbikes are whizzing past. You've got this chicken kebab in one hand, a beer in the other and a transvestite trying to seduce you into going across the other side of the road. It's really bizarre.
The kebabs have a chilli on one end. That was the hottest thing I've ever had. My eyes were watering, my head was sweating. It burnt for hours. I had to put out the fire, so I bought a beer."
On the Quaff in Queenstown
Nathaniel "Funnel" Altinier
Age 28, From Perth
"I don't entirely remember everything. In New Zealand, it's great because you can go snowboarding or bungee jumping if you want to. But if you just want to take it easy, that's OK too.
In Queenstown, things kick off at the Red Rock, a pub where a lot of the locals go. We ate some good food there while the tour guide told us what the plan was for the night. Luckily it involved beer.
There's one bar there called Winnies that has a roof with hydraulics that opens up like a barn door at night. It's great – the roof is open, you see all the stars and the snow starts falling in.
New Zealand's not like Australia – they don't seem to have as many restrictions, because there's another bar with a huge open fireplace that everyone can stand around and another that's all sunken in, practically underground.
Queenstown has around 60 awesome bars in the city centre, so you basically come out of one and stagger into the next. It's the unofficial party capital of the Southern Hemisphere, so you're bound to have a great time."
Stuff You Need to Know…
- Transport within mainland Europe is by five-star coach.
- Accommodation is three-star twin share. Single rooms are available on request, but you'll have to fork out extra.
- Travel insurance is compulsory for all tours and must cover every country visited
- Beer tastes beaut in all of the countries visited
Have a cyber-gander at www.worldsbiggestpubcrawl.com for guff on the 2009 world pub crawl and a bunch of other liver-strangling tours.
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