If you meet any of these criteria below, do not under any circumstance book a Thirsty Swagman tour. You'll be kicked off the tour with no refund, and reported to police if necessary. No exceptions!

We do this to keep the complete idiots away, and allow a safe and fun travel experience for everyone else. All our tours are a premium product. Our tours are not an all-you-can-drink binge where you get completely wasted!

A typical Idiot is the kind of person that:

1 has to apologise to multiple people every time they drink

2 is a loud, obnoxious drunk who just won't shut up when they're told

3 starts drinking at breakfast every day

4 has a tendency to be rude or violent

5 shows no respect for local customs and rules

6 wants to take any form of illegal drugs while on tour

7 has to be escorted / carried / dragged home after a night out

8 tendency to get kicked out of bars / clubs, or refused entry in the first place

9 doesn't remember anything or typically drinks to the point of passing out

10 has skipped their weekly AA meetings to come on a Thirsty Swagman tour