There was once a time when women were revered as phenomenal life forces, when men worshipped at the altar of femininity and fertility and generally all things female. Sure, it was a long time ago now (pre-history in fact). And how things did change!
Now, it’s all juggle, juggle, juggle and less credit (and yes, still less pay) is given to women in relation to their male counterparts. Sure, it would be nice to be worshipped as some idol of beauty or sex kitten, but who has the time or money to maintain that illusion? Still…might there be some essence of femininity that would be allowed to flourish in abundance if one could take away that litany of chores faced by a woman in modern society?
Now, before you think I’ve gone all flower-child/hippy/generally bananas on you what we are talking about is women celebrating the freedom to do whatever the bloody hell they want, when they want and in the most awesome locations on earth. And, I’d wager this would appeal to most members of the fairer sex. We refer to this phenomenon as “Girlcation”.
And, if you’d like to make it a religion (lets face it, far more ridiculous premises have managed to become the ideology of a registered religion) you can treat the following list as your bible for a successful Girlcation.
So, look here ladies – This is the ultimate girls-only getaway guide:
1. Thou shalt not take any husbands, boyfriends or children along. Your Girlcation is for womenfolk only.
2. Thou shalt not discuss men, children, family or other nuisances
It’s all about not having a care in the world, and let’s face it men cause most of your bothers and worries.
3. Thou shalt not refrain from the consumption of cocktails
Exotic concoctions served at swim up pool bars, the sand between your toes and the nectar of a sweet beverage between your lips… what more could one desire?
4. Shop to one’s hearts content
Without a man you can buy as many knock off designer handbags and sunglasses as you like. Go to the mall without a grumble. You won’t need to keep your eye out for a “man chair” – your women will be right there with you, paying due respect to the gods of retail therapy.
5. Thou shalt not feel guilty about relaxing and spending time at the spa
Embrace the massages, salt scrubs, mani-pedis etc. that are readily available on vacation. Aren’t we all told that without health we have nothing? Indulge with your girlfriends – it sure beats giving your hard earned dollars to a health insurance company all year for no real reason.
6. Remember a little gossip always never goes astray
When else have you ever had so much time to bitch about a mutual acquaintance or complain about your bosses’ body odour? Have that discussion on how “insert name here’s” botox went horribly wrong. Whiling away time under the palm trees is always made that little bit more exciting by a sprinkling of juicy gossip.
7. Thou shalt not worry about shameful escapades
So, you lost your shoes and any vestige of your dignity in some bar in Mexico? So what? It’s all a part of the adventure.
8. Thou shalt not put d**ks before chicks
A pact to not ditch your friends for a man is absolutely essential – and, preferably it should be signed in blood. Well, maybe… you get my point. Basically, no one wants to be shoved into a tuk-tuk to go see the sights solo so their girlfriend can run off unhindered with a random male.
9. Thou shalt not worry about calories
Eat those damn bar nuts. Have a sundae with the cream on top and extra sprinkles. Shove down the cheesecake and slurp up that liquor coffee. Grab some extra croissants at breakfast. Holidays are the time you can go hell for leather on the food front.
10. Thou shalt not depart Girlcation without doing something completely new, exciting and possibly life changing.
A Girlcation is all about getting away. It’s also about creating memories. Look on it as the ultimate girly bonding experience. Embark on a Gilrlcation: it might just give you a new lease on life.
For epic trips like these, check out these party tours.
By Patricia Higgins, Australian journalist, copywriter and model/actor.