Kastenlauf: Because Germans Are Awesome
Germans are without a doubt the pioneers of organized beer recreation, wouldn’t you say? They’ve thought of so many ways to consume the brew you could organize an entire Olympic committee to oversee these activities. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more badass than the Masskrugstemmen or weirder than the “Guess That Sausage” contest (that’s a real thing, right?) you learn of another, more ambitious competition.
KASTENLAUF – BECAUSE WHY THE HELL NOT
Kastenlauf literally means “crate-running” and exists because you shouldn’t have to choose between drinking and fitness. Life is all about balance, duh.
The sport of Kastenlauf is practiced in the top German-speaking regions of Germany, Austria and Switzerland and consists of teams of two racing to the finish. Each duo carries a case of beer between them and must finish consuming said case before they reach the finish line. The routes vary but average between 5km and 12km (that’s German for 3-8 miles). However if I were participating the route would be roughly the distance between Los Angeles and New York City. Think of it as an updated version of the three-legged race, only the third leg is full of beer and makes you run in circles instead of a straight line.
This hilarious game of lug and chug originated in 1982 in–you guessed it because where else–Munich, Germany where both heavy lifting and heavy drinking are doctor prescribed.
There are many theories on the best way to win this race: do all the drinking up front so you don’t have to carry a heavy case the whole way? Run to the finish (while you can still run) and down the case at the end? Personally, I’ve got my strategy down pat: find a giant and ride piggyback style while he finishes the beer in kastenlauf world record time. Hey, I’m told they allow women a slight handicap—I can only assume this is what they had in mind.